The Female always makes The Rules
The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No Male can possibly know all The Rules.
If the Female suspects that the Male knows all The Rules,
she must immediately change some or all of them.

The Female is never wrong
If the Female is suspected of being wrong,
it is due to some misunderstanding which was
the direct result of something that the Male did or said which was wrong.
The Male must apologise immediately for causing said misunderstanding.

The Female may change her mind at any time.
The Male may never change his mind without the express written consent of the Female.

The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The Male must remain calm at all times;
Unless the Female wants him to be angry and / or upset, 
The Female must, under no circumstances,
let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry and / or upset.

The Male is expected to mind read at all times.
The Female is ready when she is ready.
The Male must be ready at all times.

Any attempt on the part of the Male to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules can't take the heat,
has a very restricted future and is a wimp.

If the Female has P.M.T. all The Rules are null & void.

Or, in other words...

 It's our fault and a complete no win situation.

 Just live with that!

Now get the chocolate and get ready to say sorry!